I’m expanding my empire to Twitter, y’all. We’ll see what happens, as this is a pretty unknown space for me. My personal one more or less crashed and burned, so why not try it out on my alter ego? It’s going to be the same ol’ trash talking, but now in 140 characters or less.
Is it real? Meh, have my doubts. The timing is a little Tooo perfect. But is the story intriguing? Did I actually empathize and invest my emotion in not only the protagonist, but the more deceitful characters as well? Well, the answer is yes to both. It’s a super interesting look into the world of social networking, and hell, if I was single, you can bet I’d be thinking twice before looking into OK Cupid or Match.com.
Ugh, About to lose it on this guy behind me on the train
He’s been talking on the phone with LL Bean sales representatives trying to order boots for at least 50 minutes. At Least. Should he order the 8inch or the 6inch, the size 9 or the size 10, the navy or the brown with khaki trim?
Brb gonna take out my earrings and let him know how it is.
Just have to talk about some deep thoughts touched upon last night.
A and I were sitting in bed last night, self-medicated with red wine among other things, and I am giggling like mad over him eating a graham cracker. I know, like I said, self-medicated.
He starts to talk about the history of the graham cracker, and how it was created for the sole purpose of keeping the youth from sexing each other; something about whole grains taking out all of the teenage lust and whatever. Granted, the modern day graham cracker is nothing more than a revised cookie, but the original was supposed to be like some kind of downer drug to help the kids keep in in their pants. The key for the upcoming punch line is downer, okay kids?
So we are going on about this and out of nowhere, A is like, “Know what? Having a S’more is basically like eating a speedball, when you think about it.”
Just sitting here reminiscing about my first experiences with the internet.
Just remember surfing back in elementary school during computer class and accidentally going to whitehouse.com (the now defunct porn site) instead of whitehouse.org. And then there was the embarrassing obsession with Beanie Babies… visiting Ty.com and using all of Queen of All Saints’ ink cartridges printing out pictures and descriptions of every single Beanie Baby. Oh god, I’d keep going but really, this is becoming too embarrassing even for me.
Some basic housewife with no life just done went and sued Nutella. Because it isn’t healthy. This touches on one of my Biggest pet peeves: people that want free handouts like they earned it, when it’s really just about them not taking personal responsibility for their own actions (in this case, not reading the fucking nutrition label). Don’t even get me started on the fact she can’t figure out nutrition facts, and yet knows the steps on how to file a lawsuit.
Bitch, just… please. You’re surprised it isn’t healthy? Huh, assuming you didn’t do your homework and look at the nutrition facts print in big, bold letters, then chances are you missed the part on the label that says “Chocolate and Hazelnut Spread.” Guarantee you not even the biggest bullshitter would say that chocolate and hazelnut alone can be a complete, wholesome meal.
I suppose it’s harsh for me to single this woman out; this is more about the lack of integrity from people that attempt to make money off of their own stupidity. Whatever, if anyone has half an ounce of sense, this will be thrown out of the courts.
ANYWAYS! That being said, tomorrow is World Nutella Day.
I recently moved into a new condo in a new city. My neighbours have EXTREMELY loud sex. Well, it’s mainly her faking it but anyway… The walls are paper-thin. Their sessions are ruining my sleep. I swear next time I see her I will pull her into my apartment and fuck her so that she screams for…
As someone who has lived next door to loud fucking neighbors, I am crying and slow clapping right now.
Don't think I have told the story yet on how I know someone famous.
Not A list or anything, but I do have a legitimate friendship with someone who’s been on a show on Bravo. We met when I went to New York and was at The Knitting Factory watching another friend’s band. Totally bonded and whatnot. Great guy.
Anyways! Fast forward to an evening later and I’m rambling about town with him and his friends, out-dancing them at the New York Beauty Bar, beating them all at darts at a late bar, and generally just getting my party on. Finally end up at said famous person’s apartment in Brooklyn and make out with his best friend on the roof overlooking the Manhattan skyline. Typical!
Watched the movie Chloe last night and I have to say
I wish there were more movies like this. Look, no one is calling this the most thoughtful film to come out of 2009 or anything, but in my mind, there is nothing greater than a ‘bad’ movie that knows it’s bad. I like top Oscar picks (so don’t go worrying about me), but all in all have never been one to turn down an erotic thriller with a sexy young escort who wants to seduce Julianne Moore. Hell, Julianne Moore in anything is worth more than a 51% on Rotten Tomatoes. Just sayin’.